What should shy people do

With time and effort and a desire to change, it's possible to break through. If your shyness is severe, you may need help from a therapist or counselor, but most people can overcome it on their own. Take your first steps in getting past shyness with these 13 techniques to help you become a more confident you.

There's no need to advertise your shyness. Those who are close to you already know, and others may never even have an opportunity to notice. It's not as visible as you probably think. If others bring up your shyness, keep your tone casual. If it becomes part of a discussion, speak of it lightheartedly. If you blush when you're uncomfortable, don't equate it with shyness.

Follow Welcome to the Jungle on Facebook on LinkedIn and on Instagram and subscribe to our newsletter to get our latest articles every day! Receive advice and information on new hiring companies directly in your inbox each week.

Shy or introverted? How can people who are shy, introverted, or both, integrate into a team? Here is a brief overview of the pros and cons of being shy or introverted at the office: Cons Lack of spontaneity : introverts and shy people sometimes demonstrate a lack of spontaneity when working as part of a team.

They sit on the sidelines : introverts and shy people have this tendency in common. When in a group, both can appear to deliberately place themselves on the sidelines—or even disappearing entirely. Difficulty taking on responsibility : this character trait is much more common among shy people than introverts. Pros Listening skills : from their perspective on the sidelines, both shy people and introverts are generally much better listeners than their extroverted peers.

Risk assessment : because of their tendency to put reflection before action, introverts tend to take fewer risks and are more cautious when making decisions. Set up friendly rituals Rituals play an essential role in any social group.

Explain how you work Both introversion and shyness can be misunderstood and lead to negative assumptions. Make it face-to-face You might be more comfortable with one-on-one interactions, which often involve more in-depth conversation. Elsa Andron. Sometimes being quiet and introverted is a sign that someone has a naturally shy personality. But that's not always the case. Being quiet is not always the same as being shy.

Shyness is partly a result of genes a person has inherited. It's also influenced by behaviors they've learned, the ways people have reacted to their shyness, and life experiences they've had.

Many people want to reduce their shyness. But people who are naturally shy also have gifts that they might not appreciate in themselves. For example, because shy people may prefer listening to talking, they sometimes become really good listeners and what friend doesn't appreciate that?!

People who are shy might also become sensitive to other people's feelings and emotions. Because of their sensitivity and listening skills, many people with a shy personality are especially caring toward others, and interested in how others feel. People often consider them the finest friends. Of course, some people want to feel less shy so they can have more fun socializing and being themselves around others. If you're trying to become less shy, it can help to remember:. Most naturally shy people can learn to manage their shyness so that it doesn't interfere with what they enjoy doing.

They learn to warm up to new people and situations. They develop their friendliness and confidence and get past shy feelings.

But for a few people, shy feelings can be extreme and can seem hard to conquer. When shy feelings are this strong, they prevent a person from interacting, participating in class, and socializing. Instead of warming up after a while, someone with extreme shyness has shy feelings that build into a powerful fear. This can cause a person to avoid social situations and hold back on trying new things or making new friends.

Extreme shyness can make it uncomfortable — and seem impossible — to talk to classmates or teachers. Because extreme shyness can interfere with socializing, it can also affect a person's self-confidence and self-esteem. For example, a shy child may be more likely to isolate themselves in a playground and watch everybody else rather than engaging.

That then makes them feel more comfortable being on their own because that becomes their common experience. And because of that, you can always change it through psychological therapies that can teach you techniques to cope.

A shy child may be more likely to isolate themselves in a playground - and feel more comfortable being on their own Credit: Getty Images. It might be not being able to talk to people at work, difficulties socialising or being in a situation where they feel they're going to be judged or evaluated by other people. She says that cognitive behavioural therapy CBT is the most effective psychological therapy for people who have shyness and social anxiety.

This evidence-based therapy works by trying to change your thought and behaviour patterns. Focusing on the people in the room rather than whether you're speaking correctly can help calm public speaking nerves, experts say Credit: Getty Images. Sometimes the problem is that people who struggle with something like public speaking due to shyness often set themselves very high standards for how they should perform in such a situation, she explains.

If they are able to relieve some of the pressure on themselves, allowing themselves short pauses to take a breath might help alleviate some of that anxiety. Focusing on the audience rather than yourself can help you be less caught up in whether you stumble over your words. She also suggests challenging yourself by being more open to new situations. This means changing your script.

Ask yourself what you fear most about social situations.